Monday, May 4, 2009
That night I dream I am talking to Faith's God.
She is, quite definitely, a She. She comes to sit at the foot of my bed, and I stare at the bright edges of Her hair, at the glow at the seams of Her fingers, like a child cupping a flashlight. Her mouth is turned down at the corners, as if She, too, is missing Faith.
A peace settles over the bed like an extra blanket, but I feel myself stirring and sweating. 'You,' I say, anger clawing its way up my chest.
'She isn't in pain.''Do you think that makes it alright?' I shout.
'Believe in what I'm doing.'I cannot trust myself to answer right away. I think of Ian, of what he has said about God. 'How can I believe in You,' I whisper, 'when You would do this to a little girl?'
'I'm not doing it to her; I'm doing it for her.''Semantics don't make much difference when you're about to die.'
For a while God just sits on the edge of my bed smoothing Her hand over the covers and leaving behind a silver patina, like the gilding of great ages gone by.
'Did you ever consider,' She says softly, finally,
'that I know what it's like to lose a child?'Yeappppp, this is from Jodi Picoult's Keeping Faith.
It's made me put alot of thought into why God makes us undergo pain and all that suffering.
And I guess it's really taking a leap of faith and believing that he has plans for us, and they're plans to prosper us :D
HAHAH I know, it's weird I'm getting a little emotional and all on my blog hmmm.
And this really made think about how much pain God would have felt when he watched his one and only son suffer for us.
I'm guessing it must have been really heartbreaking ):
OKAY STOP, I'M NOT USED TO WRITING ALL THIS OUT ON BLOGS HEH :D
Tomorrow's green house tryouts, hopefully we'll get really good people!
Cause I know you gave,the world your only son for us
To know you name, to live within the Saviour's love
And he took my place, knowing he'd be crucified
And you loved, you loved a people undeserving
7:13 AM
